Poem

(I (Steve) now need to spend more time in the saddle and less writing daft poems)

Challenge of a lifetime, such a long journey to ride
Six months of preparation, will take its toll on our hides.

Three buddies from Aughton, with a lot to arrange
Eleven days of exertion, dressed in lycra will be strange.

In Cyclexpress jerseys, good publicity for Matt
With Steve B driving support, no delays from a flat.

Avoid Denis as mechanic, wheel put on the wrong way
Lee’s Cateye wasn’t working, zero miles covered each day.

Got to get the miles in, joining H Middleton CC
Pull in at the café, double flapjacks are for me.

While we are turning pedals, touring Lancashire Lanes
TV Producer Connolly is suffering, on hilly Kent plains.

December to January we were frozen out, interrupted by lots of ice
Occasional sunny spells right now, back to back rides would be nice.

A tribute to the lovely Carla, she’ll be forever in our hearts
We’ll raise money for the fund, target nine followed by many noughts.

Hope Lee doesn’t show up on my old Eddy Mercx
One odd bike in three, we’ll look like proper berks.

Two using Dolan Hercules, be calling on his muscles
Especially during the lumpy bits, in Corwalls hilly struggles.

You have to see Con and Kev on matching his and hers bikes
Mind, Kev’s looks so small, it may be made by ‘Little Tykes’.

Lee’s first outing on his bike, while riding in Richmond Park
He managed to break his chain, phoned Ell as it was getting dark.

Lee’s prep is on a turbo trainer, spinning in his flat
Daughter Ava is amused at this, she says he looks a pratt.

Mr Southerner is behind in miles, chance of catching are slim
So he’s offered to buy the Garmin Sat Nav, then we’ll have to stay with him.

In danger of some chaffing, so chamois cream to apply
It goes in all those places, unseen by human eyes.

Change from tights to bib shorts, then it’s time to shave your legs
We’re hoping that for poor Lee Con, it’s an improved vision of his pegs.

Setting off from Lands End first of June twenty ten
Hoping for a tailwind and some better weather by then.

Two days in the South West, with Dartmoor on day three
Followed by the Severn Bridge, from where Wales we can see.

Shropshire looks quite scenic, but there’s the Stiperstones to ascend
Makes Parbold hill look like a speed bump, the climb it never ends.

Day five is such a long one, 122miles to cover here
By the time we reach our houses we’ll have earned a Cockbeck beer.

Driver two takes over, leaving Denis to recover
There’s sure to be some fallouts, cos replacing him is Kev’s brother.

Next it’s off to Lakeland, those fells are oh so steep
But the biggest hazard of this leg is avoiding all the sheep.

We then fly across the border into chilly Jockoland
We’ll get bitten by lots of midges, but won’t get very tanned.

Further north to the coastline, we’re looking for a port
Ferry over to Arran, who’s circumnavigation is quite short.

Night over in Lochrenza, next morning on the boat
Then it’s back onto the mainland exploring Highland slopes.

Along the Caledonian canal, to the East of old Loch Ness
If we don’t watch where we’re going we’ll end up in a mess.

Eventually reaching the east coast, night over in a place called Tain
Can almost see the ending, our efforts weren’t in vain.

The final leg’s upon us, it’s when England play USA
But the World Cup’s banned in Scotland, ‘got no TV’ they will say.

Friday the 12th will be emotional, our thoughts to gather this time
Over a thousand miles covered, as we cross the finish line.

By Steve (bet Wordsworth would be quaking in his boots)